CANT. STOP. BLOGGING.

Withholding Sex Pt. II.

Let's just say it works.

Women want to be her, men want to sleep with her.

That's who I want to be.

The text

"Just to let you know,i know i am not the easiest person in the world to live with,but i do care about you and i do think about you all the time although sometimes it may not look like it.I love you.x."

L.I.P ... G.L.O.S.S

... is seriously sexy.

4-4... what a score.

David Bentley is my new love interest.

Spurs

All change in management style, but I have a new lease of hope. Let's hope Harry sorts it out. If he's no good then we are in serious trouble.

We are playing Arsenal tomorrow. Praying for at least a point, we will see...

OVERLOAD!

I have so much going on at the moment and I feel like I'm getting overloaded and I feel really stressed and run down.

I have a water infection so I'm feeling sorry for myself, my grandparents are very ill - one with no mobility and one with lung cancer, it's the anniversary of my nan's death so I need to visit her grave, I feel guilty about being ill because I have done no housework over the past week, I have no time in the evenings to do anything, I am run down so I just want to go to bed when I get home, my days are too long, work is stressing me out as they are making redundancies, my boss is a wanker, I need new clothes but have no money until pay day, my ex's have annoyed me by trying to get in touch, sex is a no-go because I am poorly so I am pretty frustrated, my boyfriend's son's mother is a cunt and I hate the fact that she has so much impact on my boyfriend's life.

There, rant over.

The Ex...

... emailed me yesterday compltely out of the blue. He wanted to know how I was. He has absolutely no reason to email me so I imagine he is trying to strike up conversation. We've been split up since July 2007 but were with each other for nearly 5 years. What does he want? Needless to say, I have not replied... but the email is still sitting in my inbox.

Satisfaction

I want my vibrator. I will sneak it in the bathroom with me whilst I read my erotic book, in my steaming bubble bath, I'll close my eyes and think about getting fucked. Then if I'm not fully satisfied I will want you.

Domestic bliss..... REALLY???

After reviewing my blog about my weekend of 'domestic bliss', I've realised that even though I was relaxed on Monday, I feel pretty up tight today. I feel depressed about my grandad and my boyfriend's behaviour is just fueling my insecurities. I am trying to feel normal but I feel pretty low and I suppose what I need is my boyfriend to tell me (without me asking him to) that he loves me and thinks I'm beautiful. Is that too much to ask?

He has said some nice things over the weekend, so I suppose I am just being too demanding.

I'm confused.

More domestic bliss

I had a brilliant weekend, well after Friday night when my drunk Boyfriend decided to wander off when we were supposed to be attending a party together so I had to track him down and drag his sorry arse home. I was rather distressed at the whole situation but soon sorted it out. Confessed a few home truths to my sister-in-law about our relationship but he apologised and hopefully it won't happen again. He's out with his mates on Thursday night, there's no chance he will be sober, so let's see what his behaviour is like. Men!!!

Anyway.... Saturday and Sunday were spent with my family, and my boyfriend and his son. I visited my grandparents who are both ill at the moment. Grandad has been diagnosed with lung cancer and my nan is in hospital with a suspected broken hip but she is very weak and quite drowsy most days.

The house is absolutely gleaming as I spent all weekend cleaning. Although the honours of cleaning out the duck house went to Boyfriend.

All in all, a nice weekend - even though after writing I realise that visiting grandparents, having a steaming row with my fella on Friday night and watching Spurs lose again were all quite depressing.

Mrs Muscle... loves the jobs you hate

I'm a 5'6" slender female and last night I was moving heavy furniture about on my own.....

Domestic goddess or what!!!!!!!!

Lazy Sunday

• Woke up, kissed Boyfriend before he left for work.
• Collected car from town as had been out the night before. Yes, I went out in my pjs.
• Filled up the car with diesel, washed it, hoovered it out, and drove home.
• Washing up, re-organised the kitchen, mopped the floor,
• Fed and washed the ducks, cleaned out their little house. So much poo.
• Re-organised CD collection and general tidying up in living room and dining room. Hoover. Wash clothes.
• Boyfriend home from work, ran him a bath and made him lunch.
• Had sex.
• Read the local paper with feet up.
• Watched the Simpsons.
• Started cooking dinner - prawn and chicken paella.
• Had sex, oral was amazing.
• Had relaxing bath.
• Lit the wood burning stove.
• Watched more TV in Boyfriend's arms.
• Had more sex.
• Fell asleep.

Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit

I love my vibrator, it has 7 different vibration types and 3 speeds. Amazing. Orgasmic. Wet.

Miscarriage

After 6 months, I think I'm finally over it. I am not totally back to normal, it has given me severe insecurities - which I think annoy Boyfriend quite a lot - but I do feel that my emotional stability is back. I go through phases where one minute I hate myself, the next I think Boyfriend hates me. Sounds a mess, but you should have seen me 6 months ago, I was a weak frail little girl. I am nearly through it and just want normality. Insecurity is stopping me though. Wish I knew how to feel more confident in myself. I blame the bastards who broke my heart before Boyfriend. I am lucky to have him, he has done wonders for me.

When I was pregnant, I felt so sexy and alive. Then my whole world deflated around me when I found that my baby had no heartbeat and had to be removed from me. I underwent surgery and the next day I was in so much pain. I am sad that it wasn't meant to be. I can't wait to be a wife and a mother. I just think my heart has been broken too many times and I am taking things slowly now, don't want to get hurt.

Withholding sex/bjs etc....

I heard today, from a close friend, that when her Boyfriend is playing up she will withhold sex so that she has power over him in order for him to start behaving or see her point of view.

Does this work? Is it wrong?

I don't really like the idea, but I do love manipulation so we will see what happens when Boyfriend pisses me off next, which I have no doubt won't be long.

To be continued.................

Quote of the day...

Quote of the day...: "Do you think it is a criminal offence to spank a rickshaw driver?"

How I feel today

Tired. Depressed. Cynical. Unsociable. Ugly. Dirty. The Walking Dead.

I think therefore I am.

I've just looked at the labels of my posts and realised that basically I think like a man. Football and sex.