Will he get dumped? Am I that brave?

He's mugged a night in London with me, for a night down the pub playing darts. I've had enough.

Thank fuck for chocolate

Several angry issues

First off. Some rude girl started giving it to me for no apparent reason at lunch today.

Secondly. Boyfriend "doesn't feel like" meeting me from work now.

Thirdly. I have no fucking job.

I am a raging ball of fury waiting to explode!

NWB

Phoned me, emailed me and text me.

Last night's break down

So it happened in this order:

1. I found out that two women at work are pregnant, and I felt my heart sink. I do NOT want to be around pregnant people - thank god I've been made redundant.

2. I looked in the mirror and there was some sort of old haggered monster with no-make up, bags under her eyes and a depressed expression staring back at me.

3. Boyfriend's son was talking about how much his mummy loved his daddy and that she cried all the time. I have no sympathy for her, but the thought that another woman has so much control and effect over Boyfriend's life really FUCKS me off.

Background: Boyfriend had one night stand with some TRAMP, then months later he found out he had a 8 month old son, tests confirmed he was his, they've never had a relationship although she believes that she is "in love" because he is probably the best thing that has ever happened to her. She is a skank living in council accommodation and can't take care of her son. She is a slapper and loves putting it about. I've never met her and don't want to. I got with Boyfriend when son was 3. When I had miscarriage she loved it. God I hate her.

Fridaysssssssssssssssss

I love them. Woke up this morning next to my naked Boyfriend and his cute son. Had lots of cuddles before I left for work. Plus it's dress down day on Fridays in the office and I'm late in after I stuffed a fried egg sandwich and a cup of tea down my neck. I cannot wait until "home time".

My weekend plans

Post restaurant in town, and cocktails, tonight.

Concert tomorrow. Will reveal who in my review next week.

Spurs on Sunday.

What a weekend!

NWB is back.

Him: Half 7 so gotta wait about till then x

Me: I have to go and see my parents and grandparents tonight as they are all quite poorly, and have a bit of work to do - going to sort out my CV and got a few emails to send. All pretty... actually, very boring! What time is your appointment?

Him: What you up to tonight?

Me: Oh dear - that's not good at all! I'm very well thank you. I'm starting to look forward to the weekend now, so I'm getting pretty excited.

Him: Has been good, apart from this morning and tonight. Had to go to the clinic this morning and gotta have an MRI scan tonight just behind your office. Somethings really not right with my back!! How about you littlen?

Me: Good afternoon. How has your day been Mr *****?

He fucked my mouth so hard...

... that it's still hurting.

Orgasm was out of this world.

Various crap...

Naughty Work Boy has not been on the scene today.

Boyfriend is going out to watch football tonight. Joy. I will have to 'look after' a drunk fool. Either that or he'll be coked up.

Visited an rectruitment agency - made me feel sad as I have just realised I have no idea what job I want and time is ticking. I need to start my CV from scratch as it's shit.

Oh and I've got a telephone interview for a job that I don't even want!

NWB

Naughty Work Boy is insisting we meet this weekend. I am seriously tempted.

Lauren

http://laurengemma1985.blogspot.com/

What an excellent blog!

FOR THE ATTENTION OF... JOURNALIST BOY

Did you manage to track down my blog?

Am I being manipulated?

I read this article, (source below) and I relate to the following: 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 8 and 9. Oh dear!!!


1. You are constantly second-guessing yourself and ask yourself, 'Am I too sensitive?' a dozen times a day.
2. You are always apologising to your mother, father, boyfriend or boss and wonder frequently if you are a "good enough" girlfriend/wife/employee/friend/daughter.
3. You can't understand why, with so many apparently good things in your life, you aren't happier.
4. You frequently make excuses for your partner's behaviour to friends and family.
5. You find yourself withholding information from friends and family so you don't have to explain or make excuses.
6. You start lying to avoid the put-downs and have trouble making simple decisions.
7. You think twice before bringing up certain seemingly innocent topics of conversation.
8. You have a sense that you used to be a very different person.
9. You feel as though you can't do anything right.
10. You find yourself furious with people you've always got along with before.

Source: http://style.uk.msn.com/sexandrelationships/datingadvice/article.aspx?cp-documentid=7320309

Ok..... sex last night...

... was good but I wanted it to last longer. It was about 45 mins though, I just needed to be completely satisfied. Thank god for Ann Summers.

Oh. Gosh.

Now I am thinking about girls.

SEXXXXXXXXXXX

I haven't blogged about sex in a while, but today I feel the need. I am so horny today. I am finding myself fantasising about another man. I see him in the office occasionally and recently he's started emailing me. He clearly wants me but I can't stop thinking about him.

I am fantasising about meeting him. Because we hardly know each other (and I am about to change jobs!) I really want to get him alone and fuck his brains out.

I imagine his cock to be large and wide and entering my tight wet pussy. He is begging for it and I want him to have it. I think he'd fuck me for hours and enjoy using sex toys, and we'd both be completely free to do as we pleased as we'd never see each other again.

I'd fuck his face, his tongue, his fingers, the dildo and then his cock.

My pussy is throbbing just thinking about it.

Is it completely wrong that he is not my Boyfriend?

Two dreaded words. Credit Crunch.

So we all know the state of the economy and in London, it's hitting hard.

And it's hit me. I've been made redundant. I have between now and Christmas to find myself a new job.

All I keep hearing is: "Don't worry, you've got loads of time to get a job"... but actually it's just 4 weeks, I need to get myself going, getting my CV to every recruitment agency in town and office I know.

So here I am today, sitting on my laptop at home, taken the day off, and I have no idea where to start.

Is there any jobs out there? Will I get a good salary? Will I stay working in London???

Waiting for him to piss me off

... and I think today might be the day as he is meeting his low-life friends this afternoon. Awaiting imminent cunting off.

Lodger's old room

Lodger has left and our house is finally a home.

The room has been stripped down, it will be decorated for Boyfriend's son.

Happiness is slowly building but to be honest, I am waiting for Boyf to spoil it with some stupid drunken antics or acting like a twat.

Watch this space.

Organisation

I need more of it in my life.

My house needs to be filed away into chronological order, my handbag and diaries have been organised.

That's my aim this weekend. No more hunting around for lost keys.

Domestic bliss.

Aim: To become a housewife.

So, Friday I was taken out to dinner and drinks by Boyfriend and given mind-blowing oral and fantastic sex. Saturday I visited family and saw all my nieces and nephews, spent a few hours on the beach with Boyfriend and his son, and chilled in the evening. Then yesterday I visited my grandparents, then I done loads at home, cooked an amazing dinner, fed the ducks, cleaned the house from top to bottom.

Then I woke up this morning and realised it was Monday. Depression set in.

Crash and burn

I'm tired, making mistakes, need my bed to just swallow me up, don't want to face the world.

Ross/Brand/Sachs/SatanicSluts Pt. II

PS. I love Russell Brand - and his football blog.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/profile/russellbrand

The cute new born

Tonight is the first night I am going to visit to my new neice, she's 3 days old now. I'm quite nervous about breaking down, but trying to be brave.

I am hoping her cute-ness will overwhelm my nervous-ness.

Ross/Brand/Sachs/SatanicSluts

What a massive publicity stunt. Brand and Ross will get more jobs from elsewhere than the BBC, ratings are up, Sachs unites with Cleese - earning more money, and that fucking wannabe celebrity of a grand-daugher is becoming "famous" and also making money from this "scandal".

Georgina Baillie is simply a fat slag who likes getting her tits out.

Let the Redknapp Revolution continue

Lodger gone.

Glory glory Halleluiah! Moving out on Saturday. At last some peace and quiet.

When will the Harry Honeymoon end?

Don't piss me off

You push in front of me to get on the tube, the only way I could get on a train which was running on a delayed service was to move you out of my way and squeeze in. You then bash me with your bag, right in my shin. My anger levels are increasing rapidly.

You're only going ONE FUCKING STOP. What happened to your legs?

I hope I ruined your day with my outburst as you got off. Cunt.

Sexy tats

New tattoo is lush, it's my third and was least painful. It's a small pink love heart on my outer wrist. Looks cute and cool!

Babies and stray dogs

So weekend was good, until Boyfriend was drunk on Saturday night and sent me a weird text (I was also out drunk as well), basically showing his insecurities! But then I ask him what it was all about on Sunday and he just dismisses it. Normal bloke, doesn't reveal emotions. Had a nice day yesterday with him (apart from the below) and we had good sex woop. Lasted for about 2 hours so I was well happy!!!

Anyway Sunday morning I was rudely awoken by our lodger who had been on an all-nighter and bought home a stray dog. Needless to say, I was annoyed. Well actually annoyed isn't the word, I was fuming.

Oh and the other thing, my brother had his baby this morning. I feel awful. His wife and I fell pregnant at the same time. Now they have a baby and I have stray dogs.

Life's a bitch.

Horny as f**k

I have had sex twice in the past week. It's ridiculous. I suppose I am partly to blame because I have been out on the town... but this morning, I woke up to find my Boyfriend's hand in my knickers.

I was pretty tight because he hadn't fucked me in a while and I had mind-blowing, doggie-style sex.

Needless to say, I went to work with a big grin on my face and a damp pair of pants.

Two nights without Boyfriend....

... and I feel refreshed. We have his son staying over tonight so I can kiss goodbye to any quality time. Oh, it's all fun and games.

Tomorrow. Sunbed, new tattoo, party!

Flares, fights and flesh

What an atmosphere in the Park Lane end. They set off flares, fought with riot police and then a few thousand of them decided to take their tops off, never seen so much flesh.

What a result as well. Bent hatrick and huddlestone super-strike. Loving it right now.

Footnote - Note my change of mood when Spurs win.

"I never see you now"

Since the latest nights in on my own, waiting for his imminent return, I've decided I need to get out more. I went out Wednesday night for Al Green and last night for the Spurs game and he seemed to appreciate my company when I got in, and wants to spend the weekend with me. I am out again Saturday night as well.

May be my starsign was right: "keep away from the problem and it will soon resolve itself."

Al Green - what a man!

Last night was brilliant. Spent the night sitting next to the stage where an amazing Al Green performance made me happy.

I am tired today, out again tonight to watch the Spurs game so will be even more tired tomorrow.

Him

He met me after work last night, we went to an art exhibition together, then for drinks and to the cinema. It was really nice, even though I was still upset from earlier in the day.

I've realised that I just haven't been the same person since the miscarriage and he has just been fuelling my insecurities, so I told him that.

Awaiting his next move.

Email snap shot

"Are you sure it’s Peter Stringfellow? I know there’s a lookie likey that I’ve seen a couple of times – sort of a cheaper tackier version if that’s possible – strolling up and down this road . . . "

I love AR. She sent me this today after Boyfriend phoned to say he had met Peter Stringfellow.

Cracking.

Don't cry over spilt milk.

Well actually it was steak. I started crying in Gordon Ramsey's restaurant. What a fool.

He's finally admitted he's in the wrong, but we will see how tonight goes.

The other City Girl said...

"Trust me you don't need a Boyfriend that treats you like that, he might take you to the nice places but at the end of the day he doesn't come home to you and leaves you on your own, come on, he isn't a good boyfriend to do that to you, is he?"

Can't be bothered

I'm off to lunch shortly. I am now so low that I can't be bothered to question him. Letting it slide again.

The Ex... Pt II.

Got locked in conversation with him today, don't know how. He has split up with his girlfriend so he is obviously looking for a bit of attention.

Reasonable behaviour?

Following on from yesterday's few rants.

I didn't see Boyfriend last night. He told me he was going to meet from work and come home with me then decided he was going out to watch the football (clearly these were his intentions from the beginning), he then rolled in at 3 a.m. woke me up.

Feeling very frosty today but he is treating me at lunch time so I can question him then.

Why are men so fucking difficult????????

Exciting week

Today - Lunch at Gordon Ramsey's restaurant.
Tomorrow - Al Green.
Thursday - Spurs match.
Friday - Partying after work.
Saturday - Get tattoo and out again on Saturday night.
Sunday - recover.

Zagreb

I'm going to this game with my dad. But so is Boyfriend with his mates. I am not offering him a lift home from London. He will get in at about 3 a.m. out of his face. Standard behaviour / Am I worrying for nothing - OR - Wreckless behaviour / right to be pissed off. I know boys will be boys but this "boy" can't resist a bit of peer pressure.

Anyway, forget that. I've missed the last two games because of him and I've had to give up my season ticket. Both games that we've won. I'm hoping the strong performances and confidence keeps up and we smash Zagreb. Will be interesting to see Modric's performation as it's his old club.

COYS.

The phone rings

09.20 Text sent.

16:28 Phone call received in response.

"Hello?"

"Hi babe"

"Oh, hi, and it's about time too..."

Fuck you.

You can probably tell that I'm a bit pissed off today. Why hasn't he fucking text me all day? Oh he's been out with his loser mate down the golfing range. This is only a problem because of the company he keeps I suppose. Losers, coke heads, womanisers. You name it.

He has his good points - but just not today.

Don't do this, don't do that.

You wonder why I nag. It's because you've let me down so many times in the past. Every time you go out I think you're going to come back out of your face on drugs or won't even come home at all. How do you think that makes me feel??? You don't realise you're own faults so someone has to point them out. I've heard you slagging me off. I've seen and heard your lies. Just stop acting like a mug and realise what you've got. Dickhead.

What to do.......

.... with my life!!

1. Get more motivated.
2. Start jogging/cycling more - even though it's bloody freezing.
3. Start up a part time course.
4. Work harder in the office, work later and better than everyone else. More dedication required to beat the credit crunch blues.
5. Save more money.
6. Do more housework.
7. Use contraception